Hello everyone and welcome back to Deeper Waters where we are diving into the ocean of truth. I’m back from my trip and here to talk about Christian Marriage. Seeing as I just got back from visiting my in-laws, I figured that tonight would be a good time to write about in-laws.
There is a great danger in marriages that parents can become authorities that are controlling in a marriage. Both spouses can be tempted to call their parents at times and have their parents be the authority. It must be remembered in a marriage that the parents are not the final authority, especially since both sets could disagree.
When a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and the two become one flesh, it does not mean abandoning all ties with parents. After all, in the biblical culture, it would have been common for the man and woman to still live in the same house as the parents. It does mean that a new family unit has been established however with its own authority.
This doesn’t mean that parents are useless. Parents can still provide good direction. They can still help out with issues seeing as many of them have been there before. However, they are not to be the ones that make the decision. That is to be to the husband and wife.
Husbands. Be sure also to be willing to stand up for your wife as well. Before we got married, my future mother-in-law told my future wife that she was sure that there would be a day come when I would stand up to my own mother in defense of my future bride. Indeed, that day did come.
Not only that, there have been times when I thought my own in-laws were in the wrong in a situation with my wife since marriage and I have stood up to them and let them know that. Sometimes, they have concerns that I do agree with. However, when I do not, I have made sure to stand up to them. Overall however, I am blessed to have very good in-laws who do delight in their son-in-law.
This is something important. If you’re a husband, your wife needs to know that you will stand up to anyone for her if you think you have to. While we could imagine a dashing knight standing up to a foul villain for the woman he loves, we sometimes forget that the hardest people to stand up to are not your enemies but your loved ones.
Ideally however, you should seek to have a good relationship with your new set of parents. I realize sometimes this can’t happen sadly. When it can however, do seek to please them provided they are not the first on your list to please. Your own parents have someone new that they can call their child now also. They too will have to get used to this new person as they do not know them as well as you do. (For my own self, my own in-laws would say I know their daughter better)
Overall, let your new in-laws be a blessing to you and make sure your own parents also know that your new spouse is the family priority in your life. They can still ask things of you, but they cannot ask you to put anything ahead of your marriage covenant. The spouse has to be #1.
We shall continue next time.