Archive for the ‘Asperger’s and Autism’ Category

No Eye For An Eye

April 2, 2011

Hello everyone and welcome back to Deeper Waters where we are diving into the ocean of truth. I’ve started doing some writing on Autism Awareness Month and giving my insider’s perspective as an Aspie. I want everyone to keep in mind that that is all that it is. I do recommend more thorough research for those interested.

A month or so ago I was involved in a Facebook debate with someone on matters of culture when this person said something to the effect of “Consider that in our culture, we highly value eye contact.” I had to laugh then and let him know that he was talking to an Aspie and I hate eye contact.

Does that mean I always avoid it? No. However, I have to prep myself if I’m doing something like a job interview. Of course, there are other exceptions where eye contact is not hard, such as when my spouse and I spend our time looking into each others’ eyes and not be intimidated by it. There are times however where it’s especially important, such as I want to tell her something really special about herself or deal with some negative attitudes she has and say “Look at your husband” and she’ll turn and look me in the eyes. Of course, she does the same to me.

Generally however, the person like myself will not look at you in the face, and this can be for a number of reasons. Eye contact in some cases can be intimidating. Some people don’t do it because of a sensual overload that they get. However, the person I was arguing with was right in saying that it is expected in our culture and that is something that can often make the Aspie be seen as rude.

The reality is that this is just a different way of thinking. I go see a counselor on a monthly basis. When I’m in his office, I sometimes look at him, but often, I’m busy looking around at everything else. Part of it is just gathering a sense of my surroundings and wanting to know what’s going on. When I have to say something really deep, I can often close my eyes as it can seem to give a better focus. I could also just say that I don’t understand half of what I do, but I do it anyway. Somehow I doubt that’s just an Aspie thing.

What is the lesson to learn for the neurotypical? Realize that when you meet someone who is not looking you in the eye, it is not best to presuppose that they are rude. It could be that they are an Aspie and they will not appreciate eye contact. Now of course, there are times that we Aspies do have to bite the bullet and do such, but keep in mind that if you are a complete stranger to us meeting us at a place like school or church, we will likely not do so to begin with. Keep trying. If you get an Aspie looking you in the eyes, it could just mean you’ve earned his trust.

And that’s quite a thing to earn.

We shall continue next time.

Asperger’s: An Inside Look

April 1, 2011

Hello everyone and welcome back to Deeper Waters where we are diving into the ocean of truth. I stated that I would begin another project today. In case you don’t know, April is Autism Awareness Month. This month, I’d like to give an inside look at Asperger’s as an Aspie and as one married to an Aspie. Note that I am not claiming to be an authority for all people on this topic, but just giving my perspective on what this condition is like.

To start this month, I’d just like to say to be aware. This is a real condition and more and more Americans are having this condition. There are various levels of ability on the spectrum and no two people are alike. Some people are very much incapacitated by this condition. Some aren’t. It varies. The rule of thumb has been that if you’ve meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.

I like to refer to the condition as an invisible condition. I have a friend who is a member of my church who has Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheelchair. Naturally, you don’t walk up to him and challenge him to a foot race. That would just be totally uncalled for. However, when you look at people like my wife and I, you cannot tell just by looking that there is anything different about us. Perhaps a skilled examiner could tell by looking at us or looking at photographs, but chances are, you and most others are not skilled examiners. (I recognize however some could be who read this blog on a google search.)

Thus, a lot of times people can think we’re rude as an example. Now I won’t deny that there are times that we can be rude, but why assume that prima facie just because we don’t play the same game as everyone else plays? It is a real challenge for us and a lot of times, the way the world acts doesn’t make us want to get out and play the game with them.

At the same time, saying this is not a call for pity either. The last thing people like myself want is pity. I have often made it a point of mine to seek to do as much as I can on my own. This does not mean that I do not seek the advice of others in many situations and I have a number of excellent counselors. However, when I reach a goal, I want it to be known that I did indeed earn that success. I may have a condition that holds me back in some areas, but it does not hold me back indefinitely.

And finally, remember that people like my wife and I are indeed just that, people. We have feelings and thoughts and goals and dreams and hopes and fears like other people do. While we can surely learn much about the way you interact from you, this could be a two-way street and I think should be. The “neurotypical” world can also learn something from the way we act in the world. This can be a mutually building up of one another.

As we go through this month then, we will look at various topics from a personal perspective including God, marriage, love, hobbies, etc.

Come along for the ride.

A Review of “Adam”

August 30, 2009

Faithful readers of Deeper Waters know that when I go to a movie, I always write a review of it. Last night, I went to see the movie “Adam.” I’ve found when telling this to people that most of them don’t know about the movie at all. That is a shame and I do not know entirely why this movie wasn’t put in most theaters like others are. Maybe someone in the movie industry can explain that. The synopsis at imdb.com describes the movie this way:

Soon after moving in, Beth, a brainy, beautiful writer damaged from a past relationship encounters Adam, the handsome, but odd, fellow in the downstairs apartment whose awkwardness is perplexing. Beth and Adam’s ultimate connection leads to a tricky relationship that exemplifies something universal: truly reaching another person means bravely stretching into uncomfortable territory and the resulting shake-up can be liberating.

Upon hearing that, some readers might recall how during the presidential election, I chose to write about my story:

https://deeperwaters.wordpress.com/2008/10/15/obama-socialism-and-my-story/

Naturally, Adam is the kind of movie I would want to see. I will also be warning my readers now that I am going to be giving spoilers so if you don’t want that, then come back and read this blog later. If you want to see where Adam is playing in your area, go to foxsearchlight.com

Adam is one of a kind, which is something that must be understood when interacting with those of us in the autistic community. When you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism, and you cannot extrapolate on to everyone. I happened to see this movie with a friend and I was able to notice many things that he did not which we discussed on our way back.

Adam is unaware of social cues around him. In fact, I was astounded at some of the things he did that I know I normally don’t do, like walking into the office in the morning and saying “good morning” to someone who says that to him. This is the kind of place where I become non-responsive. If I don’t greet someone, it’s not because of something personal.

Adam is also crazy about space. He loves to talk about it. We find him several times in the movie at his laptop looking up information on anything and if he gets into any conversation with anyone on that topic, stand back, he’s going to go into overdrive. I could find my own relation here as I can be normally quiet, but start me up about philosophy or apologetics or Christianity and I’m on fire. My roommate once spoke about how I was when we had Mormons visiting us and the doctrine of the Trinity came up and it was described as watching a rocket taking off.

At the start, Adam’s pantry has several boxes of the same food selection. I clicked with that immediately as that is also a common trait, something I was very pleased to find out the more I studied this as some who know me know I am incredibly unusual in my diet. Our church, for instance, had a picnic today after the service. My response? Get in the car. Go home. Do the dishes there and fix myself a small lunch at home. It’s just not a pleasant situation and my closest friends with me know that there’s only a small number of restaurants I will order something from.

Adam’s world is changed by a girl named Beth who comes to see him. He doesn’t really know too much how to respond to her and his Dad’s old friend Harlan who is his caretaker in this film as both of Adam’s parents are dead tell him he has to be the man. There are numerous times in the movie Adam interprets something Beth says in a way she doesn’t intend. The results are quite humorous.

One scene at the start has him sitting on the steps of his apartment building on his laptop while Beth comes and is carrying behind her on a rolling device some groceries and says something like “Well, I’m off to carry these heavy items up to my apartment.” Adam misses the cue entirely of the implicit message of “Are you going to help me?”

Beth decides she wants to try to break into his world however and offers to invite him out to join some friends that evening. She says she’ll knock on his door at 8. We see Adam then in the apartment and the clock says 8:11 and he’s all dressed up and ready to go. She hasn’t knocked yet. She does soon however, but Adam never opens the door and he’s crying inside later on. The next day, he tells her he was overwhelmed with something and just couldn’t come.

This was something I understood entirely. The problem was that she had said she would knock on his door at 8 and she didn’t. That threw Adam off entirely. I’ve been told at work that I’m the most exact person with the time clock. If I am to clock in at 8:30, well that is when I will clock in, even looking at my watch to make sure I’m down to the second.

One day, Adam shows her a planetarium of sorts he has in his apartment. What it was entirely, I’m not sure, but I’m thinking that he had computer generation set up in the room all around the ceiling somehow and he just talks to her about space. His friend Harlan is stunned that he did this and even more stunned that Beth likes it.

Adam slips up the next time Beth comes over and asks about the event and says “Were you sexually excited?” Now I consider myself blunt, but I’m thankful I’m not that blunt. When Beth decides she needs to leave then, Adam confesses to her his condition of Asperger’s and how it affects him.

The next day, Beth, at her job as a schoolteacher, asks another teacher about Asperger’s and is told about the book “Pretending To Be Normal” which I thought immediately was a great title. She asks if someone like that is prime relationship material. At this point, she seems to think he isn’t, but seems to change her mind.

Adam gets fired also from his job at a toy company. As he’s grieving from this, he takes Beth to Central Park, as the story is set in New York, and doesn’t tell her why. As he sits on a bench with her standing nearby, two raccoons start passing through the area in front of them leaving Beth amazed. She gives him a book for people with Asperger’s on how to find a job. At this, he kisses her. She doesn’t mind.

I noticed something about the raccoons and asked my friend on the way back if he knew why raccoons were used. He didn’t. So I asked him to tell me what he knew about raccoons. He said “They wear masks.” I didn’t let him go any further. That was all that needed to be said. Adam and the raccoons are similar. Both of them wear masks.

The kiss has changed their relationship and Beth decides she needs to set some boundaries and says she’s fine with kissing and with hugging but no sex. It’s amusing when she tells Adam that her last ex was sleeping with other women while they were together. Then seeing his confusion says “I mean, while we were in a relationship.”

Adam is taken to a party by Beth where nearly every social cue is broken. A mother begins talking about her baby and says “Would you like to see a video?” Adam says “No thank you. Where’s the restroom?” He starts talking to another lady there about the purchase of a telescope and doesn’t realize he’s boring her and is going over her head and she doesn’t know how to get away. Fortunately, Beth is there to help him out.

Later on, Beth and Adam are discussing various matters and Beth is talking about how she’d like to write a book about raccoons for children and she wants it to be talking raccoons. Adam asks why. Why not just have it be about nature. Wouldn’t that be better? She tells him that he’d think so. Adam is offended, until Beth just lets him know what she really means and how she feels about him, which is when she turns their relationship sexual. For those concerned, there is nothing seen here at this point in the movie in the area of nudity. It was quite clean in this regards.

Of course, there is that problem that in movies, sex in a relationship is just seen as the next level. There are not any consequences. If you’re wondering the moral perspective, Beth seems to be more Christian in some way in that when Adam asks her about the Big Bang, she starts quoting Genesis 1:1. Adam simply starts going on at that about the Big Bang. She also tells her father that the rules he has for her in her relationships aren’t written in Scripture. Unfortunately, religious views aren’t expounded on this much.

Beth then takes Adam to a play and her parents happen to be there where they get to meet for the first time. Beth has beforehand found out that her father has been indicted on for something he’s done. What his job is, I don’t recall entirely, but his family is very well provided for. When she and Adam and her parents get together with just them to talk, Adam asks “Did you do it?” and “Could you go to jail?”

Beth doesn’t appreciate the questions later and tells him so. This is a part I still don’t understand as my thinking is “Those seem like perfectly legitimate questions. You want the information? You ask for it.” Rest assured, Beth does apologize after this first fight.

Beth also is teaching her class in the movie of probably Elementary school children and reading the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. Once again, this is a story meant to remind the reader of the nature of Asperger’s. The boy in the story is the one who is blunt and points out that the emperor is naked. Important since Beth ends saying “I like the boy.”

Adam is meanwhile applying for new jobs and finds one he applies for and hears back that’d involve research on space. Beth offers to help him train for this with learning such features as eye contact, which is something I recognized immediately.

There are many times I talk to people and I realize that I am not looking at them as I talk to them. I seem to have my eyes fixated on some other point. What’s there? Well nothing that deserves my attention at that point, but that is where they are. Beth is a good teacher helping Adam learn how to socialize.

Adam needs the job after all as he doesn’t want to move. This comes to the forefront in a scene discussing his father’s estate and how he’ll have to move since he can’t pay the mortgage and he goes into a tantrum saying he doesn’t want to move. Harlan is the one who calms him down again.

What happens the day of the interview we don’t know immediately, but around that time Beth’s mother calls Adam and asks if she can track down her Beth. Her father has been found guilty. Later on, we learn he had an affair with someone involved in what he’s indicted of. Once again, this is the mask motif playing. Beth’s Dad does not have Asperger’s, but he had been wearing a mask.

Adam begins looking through and finds a note Beth had about “Take Adam to meet parents” which referred to the past event. Beth comes in then and sees Adam upset and when she confesses she just told him a little lie, he explodes, throws things around the room, and yells at Beth on how much he hates her and her Dad is guilty and he hopes she stays in jail. Beth uses some profanity (The strongest in the movie and nothing I will dare repeat here) and tells him he’s a child and leaves.

Always be honest to people with Asperger’s. (Actually, being honest with people generally is a good idea.) Not all of us react like Adam of course, but there is something lost. Many of us are often just looking for people we can trust. That could be something common for everyone, but maybe just harder for us.

When Beth’s Dad is charged and given his sentence, he is told he has ten days to put his affairs in order. Beth’s Mom calls Adam and tells him the address of the house which is where Beth will be. It’s a snowy time, but Adam knows that now he has to make things up to Beth so he gets some champagne and some roses and sets out in the snow. He can’t get to the terminal for the bus because of the stairs and he can’t take a taxi and he can’t drive, so what does he do? He walks the whole way.

Meanwhile, we see Beth at the house talking to her Dad and how her Dad says that Adam is not relationship material. He is in another world. Beth insists that people with Asperger’s do marry and have families and children, but her father is saying no. Shortly after this Beth hears Adam outside yelling trying to find her. Beth rushes outside and her Dad prepares to head out saying “I’ll take care of him.”

Adam tells Beth he didn’t get the job he wanted, but was told he’d be perfect for a job in California in an observatory. He tells Beth he wants her to come with him. Beth’s Dad comes out and says that Beth will not go with him. Beth is furious telling her Dad he can’t dare speak for her. An argument breaks out and Beth’s Dad grabs her which leads to Adam tackling her Dad and knocking him to the ground. When the mother comes out, Beth yells out that she’s going away with Adam to California and they drive off in Beth’s car together.

Beth later talks to her mother on the phone before the leave and says that Adam has never said he loves her. Adam hears this and tells her and then she asks why he wants her to come to California. Adam gives an answer of how he needs her to help him find a place to live, get settled in, fit in, and that she’s like a part of him now. When she hears this, Beth has to disappoint him and says she can’t go with him to California.

When I first saw this, I thought it was a sad point. Thinking back on it now, I think it was sad still, but also a good move on her part.

He is speaking at an observatory to a group of visitors about the telescope and what all can be seen and then says “But one of the best ways might be going out at night and looking up at the sky yourself.” After they leave, a lady comes carrying two heavy boxes, one on top of the other, with a small package on top telling Adam that that one is for him. Adam takes it and then says “Would you like some help with those Carol?” She smiles and says yes.

Adam has moved forward. He didn’t catch Beth’s cue at the beginning, but now he has, and apparently with another lady. I take this as a cue to Adam having a blossoming romance going on in California.

Adam opens up the package later on and finds a book in it from Beth called “Adam.” It’s a book about a family of raccoons in New York City. One was named Adam. He lived in Central Park. Although he didn’t really belong in that world, there he was. Adam closes the book and smiles.

My thoughts on this movie? I think it’s a very good one. It helps bring out the world of those of us with this condition. I have a caution that people keep in mind that if you go see Adam, that not everyone you meet with this is like Adam. Some are more outgoing. Some are not. Adam is actually more capable than many as some need constant care throughout their lives.

I think it would do a world of good to go see this one however and come to understand this world that more and more people by genetics are experiencing everyday. Is that person you meet not speaking to you? Don’t assume right off they’re rude, which is something that has happened to me often. Consider that they might be different.

Realize also there is a reason why we do the things we do. I’m very finicky about my hands for instance and don’t like anything on them. One time we had the Mormons up here and we were having friendly talk about little idiosyncracies on how my roommate and I take care of this place. I said I don’t replace the lid on the trash can because I don’t like touching a trash can lid. I want to wash my hands afterwards. Since then, our lid has remained perpetually off. We just dump everything directly. Now I do take out the trash at times, but always with washing my hands immediately afterwards.

The movie also stated that we’re frequently described as people with no imagination. I find that bizarre. If anything, I have an overactive imagination as my mind is always conjuring up strange scenarios and such. This does allow me to experience much wonder in life as I find it easier to see everyday as an adventure as a result of this condition.

Is the social interaction difficult? Of course. This is why I’m thankful for friends in my life who are my support. For instance, tonight is Sunday and I go bowling every Sunday night. I go with some friends here and their family has kind of taken me in as a third son it seems at times and their support is something excellent to have and I’m really grateful for it.

And now the final conclusion. Go see Adam if you haven’t. Of course, now you know everything that will happen pretty much if you’ve read this, but go see it anyway. Seeing it can be more revealing than hearing about it. If you have small children, you might want to go see it without them first. I’d say anyone of Junior High age could probably watch this film, but parents need to discuss certain matters afterwards.

And yes, I do plan to buy this when it comes on DVD.

Obama, Socialism, And My Story

October 15, 2008

I started a thread on TheologyWeb where I often post about what Barack Obama said to a plumber who is concerned about his tax plans. I won’t deny it here. I am not a fan of Obama in any way. I urge you if you are though to not stop reading now. I’m not writing this to attack him specificially. My stance is against his for another reason though. I wrote on this on TheologyWeb and a wise friend suggested I blog about it. I resisted it, but I thought eventually I might as well. 

My stance was that I find what was said insulting. I don’t appreciate the idea that if I’m going to be a success, I need the help of the government. Someone responded to me and told me that some people have inequalities and it isn’t as easy for them so get over it. Now that really ticked me off and I had to respond and I am giving a longer form here of what I said there.

I’ll also say that this is something difficult to write. My wise friend would tell me that if anyone attacked me for anything I said here though, it would be their problem. I agree with her astute wisdom once again.

The truth is, I have those inequalities. My scoleosis is well-known actually though. In speaking about that, I’m not really limited. I played ultimate frisbee earlier this month at our Seminary and I was the fastest one on the field. It is interesting to go to the Y though and be at the mirror and keep trying to contort myself in every way to see the scar on my back and how it is, but I can’t. No one has ever asked me about it though, but I honestly wouldn’t mind if they did.

At an earlier age, I was diagnosed as autistic. Some people think I’m Asperger’s, so I prefer to say Aspie/Autistic these days. I’m not sure what it is entirely, but I will say life is difficult at times. If I get in a social situation, I’m not really the best. I thrive on the intellectual. I see the world through a different set of eyes. I can illustrate this with my coming into work today and a co-worker trying to engage me in a conversation. This person started the conversation.

“Hi!”

“Hi….”

“How are you?”

“Hello.”

“Anything new?”

“Hello.”

“Are you reading anything new?”

” ‘The Trinity’ by Saint Augustine.”

The other questions are the small talk questions that don’t really go over so well. I never know exactly what to say with my penchant of wanting to be honest and realizing that if I’m honest in this case and I’m feeling great, what will happen in the day when I’m not? If I’m not feeling great today, then it is not appropriate to be honest.

If anyone wants more info on this, I recommend reading a chapter of a book by a guy with Asperger’s named “John Robison” called “Look Me In The Eye.” The chapter is called “Logic and Small Talk.” I read through it at the bookstore and thought the guy was inside my head. This is a book I definitely plan to buy someday.

Let me go back to my history some though and talking about inequalities.

I remember being taken by my parents often to the Birth Defects Center as it’s believed I have some muscle disease also that limits my strength. It’s not conclusive. A muscle biopsy didn’t reveal anything as far as I know and I don’t think about it much, but the autism aspect I think was a strong reason behind my being there.

Let me be clear. My parents are very good people and very supportive. They didn’t do perfect though. They shielded me from a lot and I had to learn a lot when I got out on my own, but I did prove to them that I can handle things and with their last visit here to see me, they got to see that firsthand. It’s still hard for them of course, but they’re pleased. They are also both Christians who raised me in the church.

I also hate that kind of term though of the place I was. “Birth defects.” I may not be functioning on all cylinders like everyone else, but I am not a defective product. Could it be part of our view that tends to treat people like they’re machines? I do not socialize well. That is true. Because of my condition though, I do a lot of other things well.

As an example, I was talking to a philosopher friend of mine on Facebook recently and he was surprised when I told him I’ve never had a formal class on logic. He told me he was stunned because I seemed to have such a grasp of it. Well that’s the way my mind works. I can see a 10-digit number and memorize it. I do mathematics the way a lot of people breathe. It’s just innate. 

However, many counselors seeing me growing up were quite hesitant. I was told for instance that I would never finish High School.

I was in public high school and I didn’t have special help. The only case really was when I had the scoleosis surgery and due to physical weakness then, someone else had to carry my bags for me and I had to leave class five minutes early so I wouldn’t be out in the hall during the rush when the students got let out.

Nevertheless, I finished. I would say I was a lazy student though simply because I did not need to study. I grasped ideas immediately and was able to recall them. Did I interact with students a lot though in things like dating and such? No. I had a lot of crushes, but I didn’t really act on them. My friends were few, but they were there.

I graduated though. Okay. The other side was wrong.

So I go to Bible College. I hadn’t even heard of apologetics yet, but there was a lot of stuff going on in my life and I needed to find answers and I had a natural grasp of the Bible and I had friends telling me I should be in ministry as I was already doing evangelism on the internet and actually enjoying that more than anything else. 

How did I get there? My family is not rich. VOCRehab paid for my education. It’s an organization that pays for those with “disabilities.” They didn’t really like my choice though. They urged me to not go into ministry as my mind could be better put to use in something like engineering (Which I had no interest in) and I just couldn’t speak well of course.

It’d have been nice if they’d had been there when I preached my senior sermon before the faculty and student body of my Bible College which would be about 1,000 people.

I loved my college years and was increasingly educating myself. For the first time after having discovered apologetics, I was buying books and books and books. Last night, I told my roommate that I’m going to need to go and buy another bookcase. This had never happened with any interest before. Before too long, I was an authority.

Did I graduate? Yes. I am the first in my family in a long time to have a college degree. Looks like VOC Rehab was wrong.

However, I have yet to get a ministry position and in my hometown, I eventually knew that I wanted to come where I am now. I moved out on my own to a local apartment which my folks had concern about. Nevertheless, I proved to them that I can budget and in fact, they tell me that I budget better than my married sister. 

VOC Rehab when they found out had offered to give me classes on living on my own. Forget it. I don’t need a class on that. I taught myself much of what I know. They also offered to have someone help me get a job. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t care for my job at all. However, I also wanted to be sure of something. I plan to get a job because I’ve earned it and not because I need help due to disability.

I got accepted to the Seminary I wanted to go to and I am there now. My president knows my condition as do much of the staff. I try to be open with them about it. They don’t treat me the way they do out of pity though. They do it because they respect me and believe that I have the ability to do the things that I want to do.

I work right now in a situation where I am doing a non-intellectual job that is socially geared. It’s anathema to me. That kind of stuff just wears me out. When there’s too much activity going on and too many people talking, it wrecks my thinking. It is that time at the end of the day when I sit down and read or do something else I enjoy that I get restored.

I am especially thankful for my friends, especially my roommate. I find it amazing at times that he willingly agreed to live with me knowing all these things about me. It is thinking of a friend like him that gives me some comfort in whatever goes on in my life. Of course, this doesn’t discount my Christian faith as keeping me going, but I’m so thankful that God gave me friends.

Sometimes, those of us with Autism/Asperger’s are seen as rude and we really have a huge disadvantage. If you see someone in a wheelchair, you don’t challenge them to a footrace. If you see someone without arms, you don’t ask them to play a game of catch. When you see me though, I look like everyone else. You can’t see a social disorder like that.

My friends though are the ones that I can be open with, but even still I can be guarded. I speak more with sounds and actions. Music plays a big part as I usually have a tune or a song in my mind. I will often try to gesture to someone that I don’t know. It’s a lot easier to me than talking and frankly, I can’t tell you why. The exception is if the conversation is about something I know and it can be anything. Talking about Smallville, for instance, can get someone into my world.

Btw, that’s another reason I love Smallville. I see a lot of myself in Clark Kent. Why? Clark Kent lives with a secret and he looks like everyone else. He wrestles so much with existential struggles involving his humanity and what it means. How are people supposed to feel? Nevertheless, he’s out there trying to use his abilities to make the world a better place.

Now what about VOC Rehab also? Are they paying for my Seminary? Nope. I made something clear. I would not get my education out of pity. I would get it out of ability. I am paying for everything. If I earn a scholarship, that is different. Right now, I’m not sure how things will be paid for, but they will be. I have some dentistry bills coming. I’m not sure how it will be paid for, but it will be. 

What does this have to do with Obama and his statement? Here’s the truth. I don’t want pity. I want the government to simply ensure that I can have the freedom to go out and make a success of myself. I consider Obama’s idea that I need that help an insult. Do I have an inequality? Yes I do. Don’t underestimate me though. I have overcome a lot thus far and I can rest assured any detractors out there that we’ve only just begun.